My new medication I'm on for my blood pressure causes me, thus far, to sleep very hard...sometimes. Last night I kept waking up for the first 6 hours of sleep only to sleep like a rock for another 6 hours after that. 12 hours in bed = headachey, lethargic day yesterday. I did still manage to record yet another new song. So far the tally is up to 6 produced songs and 7 demos. I don't always demo everything. Most of the time I write as I go, but every once in a while I demo something to record at a later date.

Anyhow, too much sleep yesterday must have made my brain decide to wake me up after only 4 hours of sleep today. My mind would not stop racing around, and a particular new song of mine was looping around in my head and making me crazy. I checked my BP when I got up and it is higher for the second day in a row. I read that this medication can take 2 to 4 weeks to be completely effective, and I am switching over from another med that I just stopped taking every other day so I suppose a temporary spike is normal, but I will keep checking it to be sure.

Not as many side effects with this new med so far. It does make me very dehydrated which leads me to drink tons of water which leads me to feel bloated like a mothafucka. lol I HATE that feeling. So bloated yet you still just want to down 12 glasses of water. Oh well...what do you do?

Rainy Sunday Mother's Day Meme:

Which Goddess lurks in your soul? Nyx A child of the darkness you are! Nyx is the Greek Goddess of the Night and inhabits those souls who desire darkness. Not necessarily an evil or good person, you simply desire to surround yourself in all things mystical that inhabit the night time landscape. A fascination with the stars and celestial bodies also tends to accompany those whom Nyx has taken up residence in. Embrace the darkness baby because it’s already embraced you! Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

I was doing some online checking of all things music related and I noticed that Standing at the Edge is still available in most non-US iTunes stores. I still have no idea why Sony BMG took it off the American version. Without it there I may never recoup anything! Bastards. LOL

I felt like some alliteration might be nice today.

The MS Walk this past Saturday was a big success. We had a large team put together and everyone had a good time. It was an early day for me but I survived. Afterward we went to my brother's house for a barbecue and that was fun as well...until we all started falling asleep sitting at the table. lol

This week thus far has been fairly mellow. I switched blood pressure medication from Atenolol to Lisinopril and the new meds are making me feel a bit run down. I am taking a few days to relax and allow my body to adjust. I am in a semi-bad mood today. Wendy is on my last nerve and all my light bulbs keep burning out. It's rainy and dreary outside which isn't helping much. I'm sure it will pass.

I am hoping to get more recording donw this week. I ended up with 3 new songs last week. Thursday's was fun. I found some orchestral samples that I enjoyed so I had to purchase and download one for each chord used in the song and then digitally place them in the track where they belonged. The newest record is starting to take its shape and I am starting to feel more confident about it already. Thank goodness!

Courtesy of friday.criminalgrace.com:

Board Games:

1. What types of board games do you like to play, if any?

I love nearly every board game. My friends and I actually play all sorts of crazy games most people have never heard of. Mostly European games and the like. I love Trivial Pursuit, Monopoly, Cranium (extra fun), heck I'll even play Candy Land.

2. How often do you play board games?

Fairly often. Every Sunday at my Mom's we either play a board game or a Wii game. My friends and I go through phases when we'll play games all the time, and then not so much.

3. What is your absolutely favorite game?

Trivial Pursuit, but it's hard to find people who will play it.

4. Describe your Monopoly strategy.

Fairly non-existent yet somehow I win often. I usually buy up whatever I can and develop as much as possible so people get scared coming around teh corners of the board. LOL

5. Do you feel that board games are becoming obsolete with the rise in computer and video gaming?

No. I think people will always enjoy a classic board game. Although with the Wii I am seeing how the future could be playing board games on the TV. No pieces to deal with.

Ok so not the best Friday Five of all time, but I take what I can get.

I did end up recording another song last night. So now I have 2 produced songs and 7 demos for the next record. I can take my sweet time since I have another album finished and ready to go whenever I decide to release it. Anyway, I somehow inspired myself with my own LJ entry and wrote a song called "What if?" last night. I've been really trying to access some raw emotions in the work lately. Not that I didn't always, but being authentic is important to me and I don't want to start writing these moody songs just because "that's my thing." I do enjoy expressing those moments and sides of myself through music, but sometimes I run out of things to write about. Like many artists I have my muse, that one person who has affected me enough that I write about them over and over again. So finding new ways into those feelings is key to the process of writing. This particular song explores the idea of "What if we never end up together again?" I think some of us have that one, or two or five, that we wonder about. Could it work again, and better, someday down the line? Is it our fate to end up together? Facing the idea that it may not happen can be painful and frightening. I don't feel like that everyday or anything, but it does enter in from time to time. Write what you know, right?

In regards to the recording process, it came very quickly. I got some new drum loops to play around with so that started things. I put up the loop and then started playing electric guitar with it until I found the verse chord pattern. I recorded that as a reference and then added piano which brought the whole song structure together after a little experimenting. With the finished piano part I was able to assemble the drum tracks accordingly based on the structure of the song. Usually I do things a little differently but for some reason this song wanted what it wanted. After the piano part was down I did a real electric guitar part, then added bass, more guitars, celesta and strings. Having the track done it was time to write the words. I only had the first line in my head: "What if this is all there is?" I ran with that and wrote the rest of the lyrics in about 10 minutes. Scratch vocal time. I sang a quick vocal and then moved on the backgrounds. Once those were all in place I did a final vocal, a rough mix and tada a new song was born.

So that's that. It may be boring but I have decided that I really should use this blog to archive the records more than I do.

I am consistently amazed by how utterly ridiculous the American health care system is. I just got back from seeing my doctor because I wanted to change my blood pressure medication. I am tired of the side effects, quite literally. Fatigue, inability to focus properly, yeah I'm not into it. Anyway, my doctor is really great and nice and all that jazz. I'm not complaining about that, but the prices. They weighed me, measured my height and took my BP as usual. Then I talked to the doctor for all of 2 minutes, if that. I proceeded to the checkout desk and paid $107. It just seems to me that it shouldn't cost that much. Being uninsured blows.

I have been thinking a lot lately about albums and how they are formed. I always find myself saying things like "With album x I really felt I wanted to do y and z" but in reality that is not entirely accurate. Every time I begin a new album I am completely terrified. What if it sounds just like the last one? What if I can't find my direction? What if it isn't as good? What if nothing comes to me? What if what if what if what if? What happens is that I write a few songs and the direction and tone kind of find me more than I find them. Subconscious, spiritual, practical application of training and knowledge, call it what you will but I have learned to just trust it. But like many things you just have to have faith in, like love, it can be very scary to "hope for the best." Being creative for a living is a funny thing since you can't really force it. I mean you can but the end result suffers big time.

To make a long story shorter the point of this entry is that I am again beginning the process of writing a new record. I wasn't sure for a while there if I was even going to do it but I decided in the end that music is what I do with my time and even if I take a break from the professional side I will always write and record. It's who I am and what I do. This time, instead of telling people about what I am envisioning, I am going to be honest and say I am scared out of my mind. I imagine most musicians feel this way every time. Waiting around for ideas is excruciating when they're not coming. I waited for weeks, but now I am feeling more inspired again. Thank goodness. I needed it.

I do not watch Soap Operas, but I think what is going on with As the World Turns in absolutely ridiculous. Homosexual relationships SHOULD be depicted in pop culture. A gay kiss is not, in my opinion, "repulsive" or "explicit" as the American Family Association is stating. These people are so judgmental and then go on and on about God and Jesus. Well why don't you all put on your WWJD shirts and ACTUALLY do what Jesus would do and be kind? And we wonder why so many teens are so afraid of being who they are that they commit suicide. Anyhow, I urge everyone to call Procter and Gamble. It takes about 10 seconds to do. Here's the deal:

In response to heat they're getting from the American Family Association, P&G is conducting a phone poll to see if people are for or against the Luke/Noah storyline on As The World Turns. Even if you don't watch the show, please consider taking a quick moment to support the storyline and thwart homophobic bigotry. The poll is completely automated. You don't have to talk to anyone. And it really does take all of a second to register your opinion.

Just call 1-800-331-3774 and press #2 to get to the ATWT poll, then press #1 to continue the storyline.

Please spread the word if you're so inclined.

For those interested Orbit is now available in CD form on CD Baby. Click here to visit the page and order it.

ALSO and most importantly a collection of B-Sides from The Winter Children called The Wind Has Spoken: Winter Children B-Sides is now available in the digital store. A portion of the proceeds from this release will benefit the National MS Society by way of a donation to my team in the West Michigan MS Walk. GO HERE to order the digital download, or GO HERE to visit my MS Walk page.

Not much else to say today. I'm tired of staring at the computer screen so I'm going to go do something else like clean the bathroom.

What a month it has been in Michigan in these United States. It started with below freezing temperatures and snow storms bringing more than a foot of snow. This calmed into a few 50 degree days. Next it was suddenly between 75 and 80 degrees, culminating in yesterday's high of 83 F. Today, of course, it is 42 degrees and apparently 40s and 50s is how we will usher in the month of May. It will be a wonder if any of us get through these extremes without getting sick.

It's a Saturday afternoon and I am making pierogies for lunch and surfing the web mindlessly. I am so sick of the presidential race I could just spit. I am sick of hearing about Amy Winehouse. Sick of hearing about most everything. Oh yeah, and I got summoned for Jury Duty!

All in all, though, I am in a pretty good mood. Probably because later on I get to play mini golf, ride some go karts and play some arcade games and you KNOW I am into that kind of shit. I have decided that this yeay I want to finally ride a 4x4 all terrain whateveryoucallit vehicle and jet ski as well. I have never done it and as WT as that may be I want to try it!

I guess that's all. I was really just waiting for water to boil. Sorry to use you, dear blog. lol Enjoy the weekend everyone!

Well I guess I caught up on some of the sleep I have been missing. I was watching a movie last night when I suddenly felt very tired. It was a little after 9 PM but I thought, "Well I'll just take a short nap. An hour or so." I wound up sleeping until 9:30 this morning. I cannot even come close to remembering the last time I went to bed at 9 PM and slept through the night. I feel quiet well rested which is nice.

My house had become a shipping depot this week so today's project is to get it back in shape. There is crap everywhere. I really hate cleaning. I think mostly because it never ends. You do it knowing that in a few days to a week you'll have to do it all over again. That annoys me for some reason. I have pretty much given up trying to get cat hair off anything. A one bedroom apartment plus three cats equals tons of hair. What do you do?

I am working on some bonus tracks to be released as free downloads through reverbnation. Once you become a fan of mine on there you will get access to the free tracks. I really love that site.

I will also be releasing B-Sides from The Winter Children VERY soon. A portion of the proceeds are going to the National MS Society on behalf of my team for the West Michigan MS Walk. The music I wrote during The Winter Children years is some of my very favorite of my career and I sometimes wish I was writing in that style again. It seems sometimes you move forward in life and get simpler instead of more complex. It's just the way it is and you can see that with many artists. Who knows, though. I never know what direction I'll be pulled in and it is possible I may go down a similar road again someday. I must admit, though, that sometimes hearing the music from this period makes me depressed. Any artist who doesn't sometimes question their current relevance is just pompous in my opinion. Questioning is part of the process. I'm certainly questioning these days I'll tell you that!

If I'm going to get up early everyday then I have to do some memes. It's just the way it is.

What Your Feet Say About You:

You are more expressive than most people. You let everyone know how you're feeling - the good, the bad, and the ugly. You are a very passionate person. You are highly charged and easily inspired. You are an assertive person at times. You'll pull out all the stops to get what you want, if it's worth it. You take a while to fall in love, but once you do, you stay pretty attached to your partner. You are not afraid of anything. You are brave and courageous, even when most people would be terrified. You are intellectual and philosophical. You are more concerned with thoughts than action. You are a fairly hard worker, but you are also a little spoiled. You like indulge yourself every now and then. You are easily influenced by other people. You're quite impressionable, so you should only be around people who are a good influence.

I hate flying, but did this meme anyhow. Stolen from tinawiesen:

Your Personality at 35,000 Says...

Deep down, you prefer spending time alone to spending time with others. You enjoy thinking more than talking. You are good with your place in the world. You are confident and comfortable with who you are. Your gift is having good ears. You are naturally musical, and you pick up foreign languages easily. You are inspired by what is possible. Real life is often too ordinary for you. Your life has a lot of ups and downs, but things generally end up being pretty positive. It's one big emotional roller coaster, that's for certain.

It's 9 am again and I have already done dishes and swept and mopped all the floors in the house. Ummm...what? Not like me to even be functioning so early, let alone cleaning up a storm. I'll take what I can get. I think the warm temperatures are inspiring me. Spring cleaning. It is beyond nice to have the windows open, all two of them. I live in a really old house that has built on storm windows for the most part, so I have one in my bedroom that has a screen and one in the kitchen. I'm not even sure if that's legal. I should really check into that.

I am totally done talking about the presidential race. Once again we divide ourselves to our own demise. People are ridiculous. What is the point of getting so worked up about hating one of the two democratic candidates if one of them is eventually going to be the nominee? I mean, I get that people have strong feelings, but all the constant griping is only helping McCain as far as I can see. It's politics. It is not going to change overnight. It is ugly and no one has truly pure motives. If you don't crave power you don't get as far as both democratic nominees have. I just hope that these young people who are so pro-Obama will actually get off their asses and vote. Young people are notoriously bad at showing up on election day. I hope the hype doesn't overshadow the actual return on investment.

See...9 am and I am talking politics. Something is wrong with this picture. I am a complete night owl so I am thrown.

Tonight I am going to see Smart People. I haven't heard much about it, but I love everyone in it so I'm hoping it's good. Either way I get to have popcorn so I'm psyched.

It's 9 in the morning. I have been up since 5:30 am. I went to bed at 3 am. What the hell? I have been trying to go with the flow lately and sleep when my body wants to, including NOT sleeping when it doesn't. I work at home so it's a no harm, no foul situation. One thing I am ecstatic about is the 60 plus temperatures we are being blessed with. Can it be that spring has truly sprung? Here's hoping.

Orbit has shipped and is estimated to arrive here on Monday. I'm excited about that.

I think I'll spend today doing some cleaning, maybe take a walk and then do whatever the heck I feel like doing. If music is going to be elusive then I'll just ignore it. You hear that muse? You ignore me, I ignore you! LOL I don't stress it when writer's block hits. I just trust that there's a reason. No need to panic. Now that I've typed that I'll probably write 3 symphonies by the end of the day.

Good thing I'm awake because my phone has already rang three times this morning. Leave me alone! They have all been telemarketers or collectors anyway. I get so many of those calls that I have come to almost hate the sound of the phone ringing. I should just turn it off. I always think I will but then I worry that some emergency will happen and I won't be reached. I hesitate to turn it off even when recording.

Speaking of that, I watched a few movies recently that showed artists being very eccentric. It made me think of the things you can get away with because you're an "artist." I really should use that to my advantage more often than I do. I need more "Don't speak to me! I'm working!" moments. Just kidding. I usually take the space I need to work, and obviously living alone makes that easy, but I never feel the need to be over the top about it all. Or maybe I am and I just don't see it. I don't know. I do sometimes have to grab a piece of paper and jot something down or leave myself a voice memo, but it seems my days of wild abandon of all social norms for the sake of inspiration are behind me. I have recently noticed, and written about the fact that I have come to have a mixed view of the past. I am elated it's over and done with in some respects, yet in others I envy the way I felt then. Youth is truly wasted on the young.

Your Slogan Should Be

Between Love and Madness Lies Casey

-and-

You Are Classical Music

You are a somewhat serious person who enjoys studying subjects deeply. Art of all kinds interests you, and a good piece of art can really effect you emotionally. You are inspired by human achievement, and you appreciate work that takes years to accomplish. For you, the finer things in life are not about snobbery - they're about quality.

It's early and I am waiting for it to warm up a bit outside so I can go out and run some errands. I am ready for spring to really settle in. It seems we are still being threatened with snow and wintry mixes all the time. Anyhow, it's a sunny Michigan morning. Henry and June are asleep in my bed and Wendy is busy licking plastic in the living room. I swear she needs Kitty Prozac and quick.

Last week I was worried about money, and I told numerous people that I was not going to stress it as "something always happens." I think I was trying to convince myself more than anyone else. However, I didn't get the mail on Friday and then on Saturday I look and see an envelope from ASCAP. Now as of late I get a whopping $7 or so from royalties each quarter, usually from outside the US. Sony made sure I would never see a dime, as they do with most artists. This check was considerably higher. I won't go into details but it was more than a month of rent for me so I was VERY pleased and surprised. It was credited as an "adjustment" so sadly I don't even know what it was for. Nonetheless I am now out of the woods for a month or so not to mention how funny it is that I somewhat "called it" with my comments about something coming through. I hate money. I am bad with it and never have enough. Never have. I have always been worried about it all the time. Oh art...WTF? There are only a precious few musicians who truly make a fortune. Most of us indies barely scrape by. People seem to forget that and imagine all musicians living in giant lofts in NYC with their champagne and Prada outfits. I shop at Target usually and I have to admit that even that feels like a step up for me! I am always like "Wow I am buying clothes at Target. Life is looking up from my 20s!" No joke.

Music has been somewhat eluding me, but that's OK. I am either tired or just out of things to say for now. I may need an extended break after the next album comes out. Nothing is set in stone, but I have been thinking about taking another hiatus like I did in 2000. Not forever, but for a while. Sometimes you just need to recharge the batteries. I am annoyed that I can't seem to tour, among other things. We have been going over it and over it and it just doesn't add up on paper. I lost money on both the 2006 tours, and even the mini tour of 2007. Now, with gas what it is, it just seems impossible. I get messages all the time asking why I don't play X, Y or Z place, but I can't go into the negative to play for 6 people in every town. I want to tour more than anything in the world, but venues don't seem to ever want me (that has been my curse since the beginning for some reason...people think I'm risky...maybe the high voice?), money is too tight and there are just no good ways of gauging who will show up. So for now I think I'm stuck at home. I may do some shows in the Midwest again, but as of now it looks a bit bleak in the touring department. It's always like if I could just get a little bit more exposure, just a little bit more coming in then it would work, but the universe seems to have other plans. Oh well. What do you do?

That's all for now...I seem to have written an essay.

Orbit is now up on iTunes. I wasn't expecting it to release until April 22nd, but why not? The CD is still in production, but I am impressed that Apple got it up so quickly! Click here to buy it or just take a look or whatever.